Straight White Boy Problem #643
*continues ‘no shave november’ for a week after november but ends up shaving anyways becuase all of my bros already shaved and i cant be too edgy*
*continues ‘no shave november’ for a week after november but ends up shaving anyways becuase all of my bros already shaved and i cant be too edgy*
dad: what should we get your mom for christmas? Maybe some yoga clothes? do those come in nike?
me: *realizes I have no money* we??? *pats his shoulder two times* you’re on your own dad
*looks at the clock in class* when will this be over
*at the doctor’s office* when will this be over
*playing COD with a bad controller* when will this be over
*5 hour car ride to my soccer game* when will this be over
*listening to soulja boy’s 3rd album* when will this be over
*pretending to listen to this girl’s problems* when will this be over
*favorite football team is losing w/ 2 minutes left - no timeouts* oh no there isnt enough time there just isnt enough time. please god let there be more time. please run out of bounds or something. how are they going to stop the clock. where is a naked field invader. someone do SOMETHING
*hits you up with the “wyd” *
*girl replies w/ “nothin much hbu” *
Me: what should I say this is going to be such a dilemma . if i start talking about myself she probably won’t text back but if I ask her too many questions the conversation is going to be very one sided. there is only one good way to get out of this situation *doesn’t text back*
when you go to starbucks because your mom asked you to pick up a small hot chocolate and you go to the coffee guy and say “i want a small hot chocolate” and the coffee guy says “we dont have small” and you start freakin out because there are like 10 people behind you holding computers and they look like they need their coffee. then the coffee guy comes back and holds up a small cup and i point at it and say “yeah that”
*in the locker room shower* *everybody is sweaty and dirty from practice*
*i go over to the nearest shower faucet*
ok u got this…keep your eyes ahead of you and your hands on the soap and everything will be ok.
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Why choose?
dont do this to me gatorade, dont do it….first of all, this is false advertising. now i have to buy all three….secondly, mom, we are going to walmart right NOW….
*looks at The Weather Channel App on my iPhone 5S bc my parents don’t trust me with the 6* what the heck? it feels like 20 degrees outside ?I’m glad I’m wearing my hoodie but i need more… *puts my new Chicago bulls snapback on my head and then covers the snapback with my hoodie* I’m really warm now!!
i surprised a girl at lunch with a triple chocolate cupcake (her favorite) because she told me yesterday she was tired of having exams and just wanted some chocolate. BUT when i gave it to her, she didnt eat it and she gave it to a friend!!! THE CUPCAKE WAS FOR YOU, NOT MORGAN
no offense to straight white boy problems but a lot of their problems are reasonable and legitimate and its not funny i feel kinda sorry for them
mom: i hope you had a productive day
Me: *went on youtube and watched the best kills of the week for call of duty and about 3 ten-minute youtube poops that involved “Weegee” * yeah…haha…i got things done
*looks up no shave november on google* wait I’m supposed to GIVE money to prostate cancer foundations for no shave november?? Whattttttt i thought this was just to see which one of my bros has the best facial hair….not that I’m judging or anything
i have to make a project for school using a shoebox and i was going to use a Nike shoebox, which my Nike shoes came in, but i think my mom threw it out FML the only shoebox I can find is an L.L. Bean one. whatever. i will still get a good grade on this, but i wont try too hard!