someone should wear this to the charli concert ngl
I just thought about a boob. Good night
Late Night Bro Post
you’d really have to be a straight white man to get this one huh
you can also be a girl who loves Chappell roan too and think about boobs too! Hope this helps ❤️
Straight White Boy Problem #1003
I got mad bc Jake wouldn’t play Fortnite with me so I walked into the kitchen to angrily snack on a Pop-Tart and Sean was like “someone’s in a mood” and I was like bro….why are you, as a man, caring for my feelings….……is this how it feels to be loved
every artist who has ever attempted to satirize masculinity i am so sorry
you could name a movie Portrait of a delusional abuser ruining his own life in pursuit of a fictional standard of manhood and 89% of its fanbase would still be like "Fuck yeah man it was so cool when Shit Cumdick gave that badass speech about how pushing everyone away and never letting yourself feel emotions is actually a good idea for your life. fuckin dope flick"
last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.
straight white boy problem #69420
why 😰 is Mr. Ratburn 😦😦 suckin on that nut 😢😢 always 👏knew 👏he 👏was 👏gay 😔😳
everybody on here in 2016 that laughed at me when I said this…..yall played yourself
Straight White Boy Problem #1002
half of the football team got COVID this week so our game got canceled i’m not mad i’m not mad i’m not mad i’m not mad FUCK I JUST WANT TO HIT SOMETHING (punches drywall) oh shit that was kinda cringe *goes back to watching among us funny moments*
Straight White Boy Problem #1001
gave my juul to preston in the uber and he fucking lost it. i already venmo requested him for it but he never pays people back. maybe his parents never gave him a credit card?????? if thats the case……then why does he always show up to bryan’s house with a 6 pack of bud light….so confused
one of the reasons why I did straight white boy problems was because I wanted to grow as a person. This blog was my medium and I pushed myself to create, and to create, I had to expand my perspectives.
In some ways, the straight white boy character that you became acquainted with was an exaggerated version of myself. Many of the problems were real life occurrences/observations/events that I drew from personal experience, but some problems also came from friends or were satirized to the point where the anecdote was unrealistic. Straight White Boy Problem #965 is honestly one of my personal favorites because this “problem” was actually a real situation in my life, and this situation could apply for several dudes that are questioning the meaning of masculinity.
The person that started at problem #1 is not the same person that finished with problem #1000. I was very much a self-entitled brat when I started this blog, but i have grown since then. I will be graduating college in december with a dual degree, leadership positions in student organizations, and the confidence that I can go out and do anything I set my mind to.
having a level of internet popularity (this blog finished with just over 164k followers) on a medium such as tumblr is very scary. one bad move, and you lose your rep - we have seen that with zubat, pizza, and most recently, sixpenceee. my advice to yall is to keep holding people in these positions accountable, but NEVER elevate internet famous people above other people. not everything i said over 3 years was 100% politically correct, but when i was in the wrong, i had fair and jovial conversations with people to figure out why i was in the wrong. no matter where you go in life, try to treat everybody fairly and equally - hopefully they will do the same to you.
as for my name, you can call me alec. i did promise i’d tell you guys who i was after everything was said and done so there ya go.
thank you for following this blog and thank you for being a part of this experience. this blog was a giant, beautiful mistake that just kinda happened and im happy that yall enjoyed it as much as i did. i may do something in the future, i may not, but i leave this blog a changed and better person.
sincerely,
swbp
hello everybody. who wants to crack open a cold one
when this blog began back in March of 2014, nothing was expected from it. ironically, this blog was the manifestation of a post (that post is here) from earlier that month and this blog was created to share some laughs among some bored friends
a couple of these friends reblogged some of the posts on the blog and the blog suddenly went viral, with a bunch of people asking “when are you going to make more?”
so what is this blog?
looking back -and i didnt necessarily plan this - the blog had three distinct stages
- relatable humor blog (problems 1-120)
- nuanced perspectives of life from straight white boys (121-350)
- humor/character driven, non-linear story development (351-1000)
i had no idea what the hell i was doing through the first two stages. sometime during the second stage, I asked myself, “hmm…this blog focuses on teenage masculinity…how do other people see teenage masculinity and how do I, literally, show that one can become better?” the answer to this is the product that you see today. i wanted to develop a humorized abstract of masculinity through the eyes of a straight white boy instead of continuing to callously satirize white boys. so the product you see today is a result of that. i wanted to keep this blog as ambiguous as i could and I wanted other people to form their own opinions of this blog so, as good artists do, i didn’t say anything.
the ask above was the last ask that I saw in my inbox this afternoon and i have seen this ask probably over 500 times over the history of the blog. so to answer the question….the answer is both. the blog is supposed to be like this in order to invoke a sense of levity, but also to create a reality that is true for some straight white dudes, and in my opinion, it is what made the blog unique.
why even do this?
I have been on tumblr since 2012. I have seen a lot of shit. from francieum, the club penguin blogs, badgoku14, and the sandsverse blogs - I wanted to bring something different to tumblr - i wanted to poke fun at straight white boys, but i wanted to be entirely realistic and spot on as well. There’s a reason why there isn’t a “Gay Black Girl Problems” and that’s because not many people can relate to what a gay, black girl goes through day in and day out. Straight White Boys are everywhere, and for that reason, many people can, at the least, relate to being in the presence of a straight white boy, and if i could do that with clever, realistic humor and didn’t demonize white dudes, i knew that the community would be better off for it. additionally, there are few, pure content creators on this site anymore. I know a lot of people use this site as an escape and look for humor to cheer them up, so I thought that I could give back and help people when this site helped me laugh when I was feeling down
who are you?
the wait will be over very very soon
Straight White Boy Problem #1000
me: I’m so SICK of Megan not texting me back! and NOBODY wants to play basketball right now. at least Jason wants to play fifa with me later but I have to eat in 30 mins bc my mom is picking me up chipotle for dinner and i KNOW she is going to forget the guac……Why is the world completely against me?
everybody: the world is against….you? there are more things going on in the world than just…you. straight white boys like you don’t have THAT many problems….
me: *thinks about all of my problems* hahaha well i disagree with that…
everybody: …Straight White Boys don’t have as many problems compared to any other group of people and, realistically, usually benefit from societal norms that are set up in their favor
me: oh…………wait……i guess i really don’t have that many problems compared to everybody else. while there are some things that are issues in my life, it is up to MYSELF to overcome my own issues instead of complaining about them. and while some problems are out of my control, i have to react to these dilemmas in a positive way so that I can better myself and better others around me as well. Knowing this, i think im ready to move on, ready to do bigger things, ready to contribute to society. i’m finally here.
